AI and Fake Tits

Artificial Intelligence represents a profound technological advancement that processes data, learns patterns, and creates novel outputs through computation. Fake breasts, by contrast, involve physical cosmetic procedures using medical implants to alter the human body to excite the male gaze. That is, until they are squeezed — at which point most men recoil, feeling somehow scammed, because fake tits are fundamentally different in feel and shape from real ones.

The argument can be made, but it would be gratuitous. You love AI singers, say, until you discover they are AI. Then you feel cheap, like you were tricked into appreciating something from the uncanny valley of plastic cleavage. Suddenly you long for the warm, motherly comfort of flawed humanity, dust off your sandwich board, and take to the streets to protest your robot overlords. Yet you still conflate AI and fake tits. You’re in the country but you don’t speak the language.

Even as one expands human capability in the digital realm through innovation and efficiency, the other contributes to the ongoing decline in personal appearance and cultural standards through surgery. Conflating the two is your choice — own the prejudice. Meanwhile, I will keep banging out album after album. I write the songs, Suno delivers a perfect studio session with my own words, my own heart, my own passion, my own instinct, and I knock it out toute de suite. Whereas I used to wish for bubbles of fame or djinn in magic lamps to take these songs from my anonymous four corners and give them unto the Earth. Yes. Yes, one of us. The real-world benefits of AI in music production far outweigh the pearl-clutching.

Stare down the dress. Have your fantasy. I will be doing other things with silicon-based life.